Hi everyone:

Here is a link to the video and handouts from Dr. Rosenblum:

Coping with Food Allergy Anxiety: Back to School and More (Video and Resources)

Thanks to all of you who provided their input and shared own experiences.  We have a TREMENDOUS family and spend a lot of time with certain groups (similar kids ages). I know that not everyone will understand the safety aspect, be considerate, or even care so I started this process as a teaching/learning opportunity.  I gave family members simple but informative handouts from KFA, FAAN, etc. I provided the signs/dangers of possible reactions, explained the blood and skin tests my daughter had to do since the age of 2, the potentially higher risk being highly asthmatic, etc. Maybe its TMI but if they keep doing things like this, I am going to keep reminding them until we eventually fade out and grow towards another social direction. I always bake something special for my daughter when we go to gatherings but honestly, sometimes I just get tired of dealing with the family because we, like many of you, are so vigilant daily when it comes to food. There isn't a day that allergies (both food and non-food) are not on our radar. As my daughter gets older, a component that we did not think of when she was younger is the emotional part.  I also think due to all the incidents within the family, she has become very hesitant to trust certain people.  I don't question that trust or her judgment. It is as simple as "will you feel comfortable" with that person.  In other words, will that person be an advocate for you and know what to do in an emergency situation.  And if she gets invited to go out with those who she can answer yes to (in her own mind) she will go.  And she is also getting older where she can be her own advocate and has to in order to do the fun things her friends do.  In fact, a dear family members suggested that she talk to the offenders in the family directly and maybe she will have more of an impact than my husband or myself. But I find myself leaning away from my family not just because of this, but as another straw as the relationships are not the healthiest anyway, so maybe I shouldn't be complaining after all! My daughter is confident, communicative, talented and has great instincts. We want to foster that so she can grow to be her strongest advocate (next to me of course!). 

I will be using the bee allergy analogy for certain. I do want to share that we did attend a kids support group in Larchmont NY last March.  It was very empowering for my daughter.  We went as a family so my son (none food allergy/but asthmatic and has multiple environmental) escorted her (16) and he was very surprised by the emotions from the other children displayed during an exercise. I will keep looking for local ones and hopefully there will be more that will not require more than a couple hours of driving. 

Thanks for allowing me to release - it could not have felt any better than here through other parents who understand.  Enjoy the rest of your summer! 

Constance - It sounds like you all have done an amazing job raising a very mature responsible daughter. Kudos! 

Sounds like you are doing a great job Constance and have a great perspective on things!  We have found that it has much more impact when the kids ask grandma why she chooses to put them in danger.